By some strange and (hopefully) random occurence, my apartment seems to only get a couple local channels, MTV, VH1, and whatever channel it is that only plays Jersey Shore and anything related to the Kardashians. 24/7. People, this is both painful and life ruining.
Anyone who knows me knows that I'm a huge fan of stupid humor...and, well, stupidity in general. But Jersey Shore is just above and beyond any reasonable amount of stupidity that a person should be subjected to.
Rewind really quick to last March...or maybe it was July? Either way, I was at home and my mom and I were flipping through the channels. We got to the MTV region and saw that Jersey Shore was on.
I said, "You know, I've always been a bit curious about this show. So many people love it...its gotta be entertaining, right?"
Mom said, "Hey, lets check it out!"
And then we both just stared. Dumbfounded. For about 10 minutes. And then we shook our heads to help break us out of our stupor and changed the channel. I think we might have made some comment about that being the dumbest thing we've ever seen, but I honestly can't remember. I was clearly suffering from PTSD...Post Traumatic Shore Disorder in this case.
Ok, now fast forward to present time. My roommates and their friends watch Jersey Shore.
All. The. Time.
And the worst part is, they enjoy it!
Yikes.
I compiled a list today of things I'd rather do than watch Jersey Shore:
1. Be kicked by a goat. Repeatedly.
2. Be barfed on. By any human or animal.
3. Go to work naked.
4. Eat a skunk.
5. Light my nose hairs on fire.
6. Shave Danny DeVito's back.
7. Brush my teeth with sandpaper.
8. Rinse my contacts with rubbing alcohol.
9. Hug a porcupine.
10. Drink rotten milk. Chunky, rotten milk.
11. Scoop my eyeballs out with a plastic spoon.
12. Lock myself in a room with a rabid bat.
13. Let someone acupuncture me with toothpicks.
14. Build a bonfire out of all my shoes.
15. Give up ice cream.
16. Sleep on a bed made out of barbed wire.
17. Use poison ivy for toilet paper.
18. Attempt to pick a buffalo's nose.
Seriously.
1 comment:
Thanks for sharing, you honestly have made my day,week, month, year with this post. (is that what it is called in the blogisshpere world) I just can't decide which of your choices I like to most see you do, the ones that stick out the most are #1,3,4,7,9,11,12,13,14,17 and 18. #2 you have already done numerous times to me, 15,I never see happening and why, and 16 I already thought you kindasorta did for a year at Erin's....love you, thanks for always making me smile and laugh! Mom
Post a Comment